Don't Ever Feel Lonely
by Threshie
Summary: After college roommates Matt and Mello try to save a car accident victim and Matt starts upstaging Mello in everything that the two of them do, the blonde quickly realizes that something is seriously wrong with his best friend...
1. Charge

**Don't Ever Feel Lonely**

**Chapter 1 – Charge**

By Threshie

AN: Death Note and its cast of interesting characters belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata, not me. This is a work of fanfiction.

This fic is set in an Alternate-Universe in which Mello and Matt are college students living on-campus in a dorm as roommates. The focus of the story isn't really college or classes, though, so don't run away if a "student" story sounds boring to you! :)

My writing style is very immediate, so this just jumps right into the story—please enjoy chapter 1!

* * *

The wreckage was just around a turn in the road.

As Matt swerved his motorcycle around the bend, the twisted metal and smoke almost seemed to materialize in front of him. Cars—two of them, one red and one's color unseen because it was laying belly-up on the pavement.

"Holy--!" The redhead quickly turned into a sideways skid, jamming down the brake. Mello skidded his bike to a stop, too, joining him in startled swearing in the process.

"An accident!" The blonde climbed off of his motorcycle almost before it had come to a stop, shading his eyes and scanning the wreckage quickly. _This's a pretty bad wreck,_ Matt thought, hopping off of his bike as well and tipping the goggles he wore up onto his forehead so that he could see better. He almost wished that he hadn't; thinking of people being inside of the warped remains of the vehicles was upsetting. _Nobody could've lived through this..._ If there were any survivors, they wouldn't be alive for long without help...

"C'mon," the redhead said shortly, jogging toward the two cars. _If there's anybody inside, we've gotta get them out!_

"Matt, nobody could live through this," Mello called after him grimly, unknowingly echoing Matt thoughts from a moment ago. Nonetheless, the redhead heard the slapping of his friend's boots on the pavement as he followed.

The cars were both mangled almost beyond recognition; the red one was so scraped that half of the paint was gone, revealing battered streaks of silvery metal beneath. The redhead quickly looked into the seating area, noting out of the corner of his eye that Mello was doing the same with the overturned one.

"...Nobody in here is alive," the blonde said heavily after a moment, standing; he'd been kneeling to see inside. Matt wasn't listening, though—a slight movement down between the seats had caught his attention. He leaned into the shattered side window, quickly spotting a small bloodied form lying on the floor in front of the back seat. The person was very pale, with even paler hair—it was white, in fact. Assuming that a small white-haired person was probably elderly, Matt snagged one of the person's wrists as gently as he could while still being quick and felt for a pulse.

The survivor's heartbeat was very weak.

"Call 911—I found somebody alive!" He shouted to Mello, tugging the survivor's arm to drag them closer to him. _The door's too smashed to open—I'll have to drag them out this window._ Hooking his arms beneath the white-haired person's arms, he hauled them out the window. It wasn't difficult; they were rather lightweight. Stumbling back from the cars to the motorcycles, which he hoped was safely out of distance should the wreckage decide to explode, Matt lay the survivor on their back, sitting up to get a good look at them for the first time.

Blackness.

Large black eyes were staring at him intently.

Now that Matt could see his face, he saw that the survivor wasn't elderly at all. It was a young boy—14 years old, tops, despite his ivory hair—and he was very much awake. _He's hurt pretty bad,_ the redhead thought, shaken, as he looked down and saw that the boy's clothes were drenched in blood. His face was battered, a large scrape across one side of it having apparently spilled blood into his eyes, because the whites were reddish, too. His clothes looked like they were once a set of white pajamas...now they were more red than white, several large gashes torn through the torso and legs.

Nonetheless, evenly, he stared.

"H-hang on, kid," Matt said, trying and failing to hide the shock in his voice. _He's gonna die—there's blood everywhere! I-I can't do anything for him!_ Despite this logic, he pressed both palms over the largest injury, a gash in the smaller boy's shoulder, to try and slow the bleeding. The boy gave a tiny gasp of pain, shuddering.

"W-who...are you...?" He asked, so faintly that Matt almost didn't hear him.

"Matt," the redhead answered absently, brows furrowing. He felt panicked, even though he wasn't in any danger himself. The boy in front of him, though...he was obviously dying. Matt could almost feel the life draining out of his broken body and pooling in crimson on the pavement. _What do you say to somebody who's dying? D-do you say anything at all...?_

The boy must have been in shock; he actually smiled at the hurried introduction. It was a childish smile, a little curve of the lips that looked so sweet and innocent that it stunned Matt into silence when he had been about to say something more. _He...this poor kid,_ he thought heavily. _I-I can't even imagine what kind of pain he's in, and he's being so calm about it...he's braver than any adult I know._

Behind him, he could hear Mello talking, giving traffic directions. He glanced and saw that the blonde was talking on his cellphone, staring over at the wreckage grimly.

"...Yeah, two cars. They're both totalled, but we pulled a kid out of them who's still alive." _He called 911—good, an ambulance can..._

"Matt..." He turned quickly at the sound of the boy's voice, letting the thought trail off unfinished. His dark eyes looked duller, now.

Dying.

He was mumbling something too softly to hear. It only took a second's hesitation before Matt stopped the futile attempts to slow the bleeding, leaning down close to hear what he was saying. _He's gonna die__—do you wanna waste his last few breaths putting on a show we both know is fake, or make sure that his last words are heard by somebody?_

He leaned down until his cheek was mere inches away from the boy's pale features, and whispered, "Wh-what'd you say?" _He's dying—he's just a kid! Kids shouldn't die!_ Yet he was. Matt's mind was reeling with the helpless feeling that this fact filled him with. He hadn't ever considered himself a particularly kind person, but when he saw people in trouble he always tried to help...and now, when somebody needed help the most, he was powerless to do anything for him.

If he could've gone back in time and switched his major from computer programming to medical school just to be prepared for this one incident, he would've done it in a heartbeat.

The helplessness was overwhelming, and yet it must have been nothing compared to what the white-haired boy was going through... _Stop whining when you're gonna come out of it fine,_ he bereted himself, feeling tears of frustration welling in his eyes. Swallowing hard, he took one of the boy's small hands in his, squeezed it gently. _He's gotta be scared—does he think it's not okay to show it?_

"D..." The boy drew a slow, ragged breath, gripping Matt's hand very weakly back. The pressure barely changed at all. "Don't...ever...f-feel lonely."

"What?" Matt sat up a little, turning his head to see the boy's expression...and froze. The dark eyes had lost their spark; they gazed flatly up into the sky, empty and cold.

He had died without even hearing Matt's response.

Something indescribible gripped Matt suddenly. It felt like electricity, but different, too—hot, burning hot. The pale little hand still held in his suddenly felt cold by comparison. Gasping, the redhead doubled over, dropping the boy's hand to clutch at his stomach. _Wh-what's....happening...?_ The shock was stronger now, washing in jolting waves through his limbs. It went out to his fingertips and toes then burned its way back to the center of his torso in a rapid, fluttering rhythm, like some sadistic, off-kilter heartbeat.

_Don't ever feel lonely._ The boy's last words rang in his mind as his vision blurred and all sounds faded out to numbing silence. _Matt, you will never feel lonely...because now I am here with you._

* * *

Clicking the phone closed, Mello shoved it into his pocket and turned away from the wreckage toward Matt and the small person he'd pulled out of the car. He knew that something was wrong, though, when he saw that his roommate was kneeling on the ground beside the white-haired survivor, hugging himself tightly and bowing his head. _I don't like this..._ He hurried over to the redhead's side, suspecting what had happened even before he caught sight of the "survivor"'s empty eyes.

He hadn't made it.

_Dammit! Matt..._ Mello looked down at his friend, who hadn't moved from his curled-up position. The blonde boy was tough enough to maintain his composure in such a situation, but his friend was more open, more gentle; when faced with things like death, he didn't hide anything if it affected him. Sometimes Mello wished he could do the same...

Placing a gloved hand onto the redhead's shoulder, he said, "Matt...let's go."

"Mell," Matt whispered, looking up at him as if he'd materialized there. There was an unsettling kind of panic in his wide blue eyes; he looked disturbed, so disturbed that he was practically staring through Mello instead of at him. _The kid's dead; the best thing we can do is to go home and forget this thing ever happened,_ the blonde decided grimly.

"There was nothing you could do, Matt," he said quietly, looking down at the white-haired boy. _He was only a kid..._ Shaking his head, he willed the thoughts away; thinking about it now wouldn't help anything, and Matt needed to be taken away from here. Reaching down, he grabbed one of the redhead's bloodied hands and tugged him gently to his feet. "C'mon, Matt, if we stay here the police'll question us for hours. We tried to help, but it was too late...let's go home now."

"Y-yeah..." Matt examined the hand that Mello wasn't holding shakily, brows furrowed in an almost pained expression. "Mell...s-something...something weird just happened..."

"Tell me back at the dorm," the blonde said pointedly, leading him over to his bike. A bit worriedly, he paused, turning to Matt and looking at him critically. "Think you can ride your bike right now?" _Are you going to be okay? You look really freaked out..._

Matt nodded immediately, glancing back at the body of the boy one more time.

"Yeah...y-yeah, I'm good. I'm okay." His weak tone wasn't very convincing...

Despite this, he climbed onto the motorcycle and revved the engine. There wasn't time to argue too much; the police and an ambulance were on the way thanks to Mello's phone call. Hopping onto his bike as well, the blonde fired up the engine and sped off. _What a depressing way to end a day!_

--End Chapter 1

* * *

AN: And the plot's away...! I hope you enjoyed the first chapter; more to come soon! :)

Thanks for reading! Before you take off, feel free to read the Akugi section. Akugis are outtake-style parodies of various lines/scenes in the chapter they belong to. They are intended to be funny, but I have a kind of cheesy sense of humor, so...yeah, be forewarned. XD; Er, enjoy? LOL.

See you next chapter!

-Threshie

* * *

_**DEFL**_ **Akugi! Volume 1**

Akugi #1

Narrator: Cars—two of them, one red and one's color unseen because it was laying belly-up on the pavement.

Matt: "Holy--!" (Skids to stop) "Some sicko broke up their Hotwheels toys and left 'em out here!" (Gets off bike and comes over to poke cars, which are really, really tiny and arranged in a wreck-style formation)

Near: (Hiding behind bush to watch reactions of passersby when they find his arranged "wreck") ^^

Akugi #2

Matt: "H-hang on, kid." _He's gonna die—there's blood everywhere! I-I can't do anything for him!_

Near: (Sweatdrop) "You are a...v-very bad liar." ;

Akugi #3

Matt: (Leans down to hear) "Wh-what'd you say?"

Near: "D...don't ever...ride without a seatbelt." (Points at car) "That's what I did." x.x;

Matt: (Sweatdrop) "Uh....I ride a motorcycle. They don't HAVE seatbelts..."

Akugi #4

Mello: "Think you can ride your bike right now?"

Matt: (Nods) "Nope."

Mello: "...Which is it?"

Matt: "Sure!" (Shakes head)

Mello: (Twitch) "You're TRYING to waste time, aren't you?!"

Matt: (Nods) "No, not at all."


	2. Different

**Don't Ever Feel Lonely**

**Chapter 2 – Different**

By Threshie

AN: Death Note and its cast of interesting characters belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata, not me. This is a work of fanfiction.

I''ll save my blah-blah for after the chapter. :)

* * *

BEEP-BEEP! BEEP-BEEP!

Groaning, Mello rolled over onto his stomach and batted the alarm clock off of the bedstand. _Ugh...so that's what the alarm sounds like. I _never_ sleep in 'til the alarm...what, am I getting sick?_

BEEP-BEEP! BEEP-BEEP!

"Okay, fine!" The blonde grumbled under his breath, crawling out of bed and snatching up the still-wailing clock from the floor. Squeezing the button to turn the alarm off, he deposited it back onto the bedstand and stretched his arms over his head, mentally preparing himself for the day ahead. _Monday; class day, big test today...test Matt hasn't been studying for at ALL...Matt!_ Suddenly last night snapped back to mind. After seeing that boy die, Matt had been very quiet...he'd gone to bed early, claiming he felt weird and needed to sleep on it.

Glancing at his roommate's empty bed, Mello stared. _He's up already?!_ _That's...is that possible? I know he went to bed early and all, but this is MATT we're talking about, here..._ Matt was usually a total bedhead; he stayed up super-late and rarely got out of bed before it was time to go to class, nevermind when the alarm went off an hour before that. In sharp contrast, Mello was usually a ball of energy; he had trouble sleeping in until the alarm, and usually got up at least a half hour before it went off, even though he often stayed up just as late as Matt did.

Compounding the bizarre rising of the redhead before Mello was the fact that his bed had been flawlessly remade. Flawlessly—not a wrinkle in the blankets or sheets, the pillows fluffed, everything. It looked so perfect that Mello stood and stared at it for a moment, trying not to let his mouth hang open. _What...the _hell_...did somebody switch roomies on me overnight?!_

"Matt?!" He glanced around the room quickly, fully expecting some complete stranger to be sitting in his friend's place at the table.

"Hmm...?" Mello breathed a sigh of relief as a familiar messy head of red hair poked out of the tiny kitchen. Matt looked funny... _Goggles, he's not wearing his goggles. _Mello placed his hands on his hips, cocking his head and staring at the redhead intently. _Something's seriously weird, here...I know he was upset last night, but can that make you change your whole lifestyle?_

"Hey," he said by way of greeting, coming over and snagging a chair from the table. Turning it around, he swung one leg over the side and straddled it backwards, folding both arms in front of him on the headrest. "Sleep well?" He asked a bit warily.

Matt bobbed his head once, not meeting his eyes as he murmured, "Yes, I slept wonderfully."

Mello stared at him.

The redhead blinked, glancing sidelong into the kitchen, and didn't seem to notice when his right hand came up and started to twirl a lock of his hair absently.

"Matt...you feeling okay?" Mello asked, eyes so wide that he was sure he looked absolutely aghast. _I'm seriously worried, here—Matt doesn't say things like "yes, I slept wonderfully", and he damned well doesn't..._twirl_ his hair._ His mind took a moment to come up with the right word for the unexpected motion; it really was bizarre to see Matt playing with his hair, when usually he barely bothered to run his fingers through it when he rolled out of bed every morning...

"I am fine," the redhead answered his question calmly—extremely calmly. He was still twisting his hair...Mello, meanwhile, was wondering if it was possible to develop post-traumatic stress overnight. _Does that make you do weird things like this?_ "Excuse me, the toaster is beeping," Matt commented offhandedly; with that, he retreated into the kitchen.

Mello sighed, rubbing his forehead with the back of one hand. Something was seriously off about Matt...if not for the fact that he was looking right at the redhead, he would have sworn he was speaking to a different person entirely. _A _weird_ person—who the hell twirls their hair and talks like a robot like that?!_ Maybe it would wear off, he told himself. _Maybe seeing somebody die just made him think twice about how messy and careless his lifestyle usually is—and even how he talks._ _He sounds a lot more polite now. That's got to be it...he'll be okay. This'll wear off._

How long it took to wear off was another thing, though. If it was some attempt to reform his lifestyle, knowing Matt he'd get sick of it and go back to his usual self in a short amount of time, but...Mello was pretty sure it wasn't short-term enough to be gone by the time they got to class.

_People are gonna notice right away that he's acting weird...should I talk to him about it?_ He glanced sidelong at Matt as the shorter boy came out of the kitchen carrying a paper plate of toast in front of him as if it was a very heavy serving tray. He walked slowly, and seemed intently focused on balancing the plate. Mello refrained from yelling "boo!" or something, reminding himself that this new Matt was unpredictable and might actually not find that funny like "the old Matt" would have.

_This sucks...did seeing that accident really freak him out that much?_ He sighed. _I guess it'd be best just to let him work through this and go back to normal on his own...I guess._

Today was going to be interesting.

* * *

Mello gritted his teeth, focusing firmly on the ground in front of him instead of on Matt like the rest of campus. His roommate seemed determined to change every aspect of himself. First he had almost left the dorm in his socks--and had given Mello the strangest look when the blonde told him to put some shoes on--and now he was walking with little tiny steps, the toes of his red sneakers pointed slightly toward each other and his arms hugged close to his chest.

Used to seeing the redhead running or sometimes even skateboarding around campus, the students who recognized him on sight were staring pretty badly. Everybody was on their way to a class, themselves, though, so thankfully nobody pulled him aside to ask what was up and ended up hearing his new way of talking. Matt himself didn't seem to notice the crowd that was staring at him; he kept his head bowed and was distantly watching the ground in front of him as he walked.

Seeing the distant, slightly sad look on his face made Mello hesitate; he'd been about to say "the hell with it" and ask what in the world was wrong with his friend, but the look on his face then...it confirmed Mello's suspicions that Matt was just upset about what had happened the day before. _Still...if he doesn't snap out of it soon I'd better have a talk with him,_ Mello decided halfheartedly, yanking the door open and holding it for the redhead to pass through.

Blinking in surprise, the shorter boy murmured, "Thank you." Turning, he promptly went to the table furthest to the front of the room and sat down. _What are you doing?!_ Mello thought, twitching—everybody knew that whoever sat at the front was under the most scrutiny by the professor. _Now I can't even pass him notes to try and help him with the test, the dummy!_ He knew for a fact that Matt hadn't bothered to study for this test; he'd been completely absorbed in his latest video game obsession, and had barely left the couch all weekend.

_That's why I dragged him out on the bikes in the first place—just to make him get outside._ Mello frowned to himself, settling into the chair beside Matt and dropping his backpack next to him on the floor. _If I'd just let him stay and play games, we wouldn't have ever seen that kid die. In a way...this's my fault, isn't it?_ Having the accident on his mind couldn't exactly help Matt's concentration levels during the test now, either...

"Good morning, everyone." The professor's voice interrupted his thoughts. Professor Lidner was a very businesslike woman in her early thirties; her blonde hair, red lipstick and blue dress shirt/skirt outfit were all polished and refined, just as she expected her students to be. She never let anybody forget that she was training future professionals, and that she expected them to dress and behave like professionals right now to be in practice.

Not that many of them bothered to change their dressing styles for a single class; Mello himself tended to wear a lot black leather, chains and on occasion fur or feathers. Today he had been distracted by Matt's bizarre behavior, and so he'd just thrown on a tanktop and some tight black jeans, strapped on his favorite round-buckled belt and called it good. _Kind of like Matt...he's wearing the same clothes he wore yesterday. I think he just slept in them last night, actually..._

"Leave your textbooks in your backpacks for now, class—we're doing a test first-thing," Prof. Lidner said, smiling wryly as several groans came from the back of the room. Apparently Matt wasn't the only one who hadn't studied...

There was an anxious silence, punctuated only by the soft shuffling as Prof. Lidner handed the stapled-together test papers to each student, making a slow circuit of the room. A few students mumured, "Thank you," as she gave them theirs, but for the most part everyone was quiet. Matt didn't even look up when she placed the paper in front of him, Mello noted. _I wonder if he even remembered we had a test until she mentioned it. Probably not!_

"All right, you may start," Prof. Lidner stated when she reached her desk again. "You have a half hour—go!" Shuffling papers and the occasional backpack zipper created a soft hum in the room abruptly. Mello already had his pencil at the ready. _I've been studying for a week straight—I'd better ace this damned thing!_ Trying to push all distracting worries about Matt and the accident from his mind, the blonde grabbed his test and focused intently on his task at hand.

* * *

"Ugh..." Mello unlocked the dorm door, flung his backpack carelessly off to one side, and flopped down onto his back on his bed. "I've had boring days, but today topped them all! I thought you were gonna fall asleep in biology, Matt—you usually do." He neglected to mention that part of the reason his day had been so exhausting was that he'd been watching the redhead 's behavior get stranger and stranger as the day went on.

First Matt had not only finished filling out his test in Prof. Lidner's class faster than Mello had, but he'd actually had substantial answers to write onto it. Then he'd looked irritated to receive a C+ on the English paper he got back in class, even though he'd declared last week that he'd be lucky not to get an F on the very same paper while handing it in. Mello had figured he'd be delighted with the C+... Matt skipped lunch entirely, and in the rest of the day's classes, he had looked extremely bored but hadn't fallen asleep (which he usually did in biology class in particular.)

Matt offered no reply to the blonde's comment, placing his backpack on the floor by the door before intently untying and yanking off his shoes. Once free of the offending footwear, the redhead came over to his bed but didn't sit on it; instead, he plunked down onto the floor, sitting in an odd way with one knee hugged close to his chest and the other bent on the floor in front of him.

Mello watched this with an uneasy look, then sighed and laid his head on his pillow, closing his eyes.

"Hey, Matt?"

"Yes?" The redhead asked in a detached kind of tone; he sounded like he really didn't care what Mello had to say, but was answering out of politeness. _Which...really doesn't sound like Matt at all. Dammit...what's wrong with you? _Mello wished he could ask outright, but that would be blunt even for him. Although, after Matt's antics today he was considering it anyway...

"I'm not sure how to say this, so I'm just going to be honest with you; are you okay? After yesterday...I mean, you've been acting kind of...different today." _"Different"...yeah, that's one word for it._

"Yes...I'm sorry." Matt sounded anything but sorry, but Mello listened curiously anyway. _Let's see how he explains this..._ "Yesterday...you are right, we should just forget about it."

"That's what I'm talking about!" Mello sat up abruptly, leaning back on both arms and frowning at the redhead sidelong. "You're all weird—you're not even talking like you usually do!" Matt blinked at him, but looked nonplussed by his outburst. Mello stared back. _That's weird...usually he hates being yelled at..._ "I'm kind of worried about you, Matt," the blonde admitted, sighing. "I know you don't see somebody die every day..."

"No," the redhead agreed absently, turning his gaze to the floor. His eyes looked distant again...he hadn't worn his goggles today at all, and seeing the vivid cornflower blue was still a bit strange for Mello. _He usually lives in the things. I'm not surprised at this point, though—fashion's the least of his worries where changes are concerned!_

Mello waited, but Matt didn't offer any other comment.

"That's it?" He asked, frowning, "'No'? C'mon, Matt, talk to me." _Please—you're freaking me out. What __do I have to do, take you to get your head examined?_ Acting weird for one day wasn't exactly cause for a CAT scan, but the act was way too good for somebody laid-back like Matt to manage—he hadn't slipped up even once all day in acting entirely unlike Matt!

The redhead sighed a little, turning his head and leaning one cheek onto his knee; he poked one of the sneakers he'd discarded on the floor, murmuring, "What would you like me to say? I don't know what to tell you, Mello."

Mello opened his mouth to answer, then closed it again, frustrated. I_ don't even know what I want him to say..._

"Just...you know, forget it," he said unhappily, running a hand through his hair. "Nevermind—we're probably both just tired and need some sleep." _Talking to him isn't going to help...I guess I need to look at this from a few different angles. Maybe if I knew what he was trying to accomplish, I'd understand the weird methods better._

He rolled over, turning to his back to Matt, and stared at the wall. _I have a feeling I'm not going to be able to sleep very well until I figure this out._

--End Chapter 2

* * *

AN: Gah, what a weird chapter... (Sweatdrop) Sorry about that, hopefully it was entertaining in its own odd way. This entire chapter was from Mello's point of view, which made it a bit more difficult to write than it would have been otherwise. Fear not, my usual head-hopping style will return shortly.

'Til next chapter, have some Akugis. :)

-Threshie

* * *

_**DEFL**_ **Akugi! Volume 2**

Akugi #5

Mello: "Matt?!" (Glances around, expecting a complete stranger to be sitting in Matt's chair)

Matt: (Comes out of kitchen with frying pan held up like a club) "Drop the blonde and put your hands UP—don't make me go PRINCESS PEACH on you!"

Mello: "..." (Sputters and puts hand over mouth) "Okay...n-nevermind, you're definitely Matt..." XD "Nobody but MATT would threaten to go 'Princess Peach' on somebody!"

Matt: (Sweatdrop) "H-hey, her frying pan whack-attack in Brawl is MEAN!"

Akugi #6

Narrator: Professor Lidner was a very businesslike woman in her early thirties... She never let anybody forget that she was training future professionals, and that she expected them to dress and behave like professionals right now to be in practice. Not that many of them bothered to change their dressing styles for a single class; Mello himself tended to just throw a loud tie on over his tight lace-fly black leather low-rider pants and belly-baring vest and call it good.

Mello: (Smirk) "This COULD be formalwear...it all depends on what career you go into!"

Lidner: "..."

Akugi #7

Mello: "You're all weird—you're not even talking like you usually do!"

Matt: (Blinks) "Oh, you mean how I usually speak in slang as if I am a native speaker of English as opposed to speaking properly as if English may be my second language and so I am being very careful not to butcher it?"

Mello: (Sweatdrop) "I-it's not 'butchering' English to speak with slang...! If you don't speak with slang, you sound like some bratty little pseudo-perfect straight-A freak who plays with toys all day even though he's really 18 years old!"

Matt: (Smirk) "And what if that was my intention?"

Mello: "...Then I am officially creeped out!"

Akugi #8

Matt: "What would you like me to say? I don't know what to tell you, Mello."

Mello: (Shakes fist) "Say...say you LOVE ME, dammit!"

Matt: (Sweatdrop) "Uh...I love you?" (Shrug)


	3. Better

**Don't Ever Feel Lonely**

**Chapter 3 – Better**

By Threshie

AN: Death Note and its cast of interesting characters belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata, not me. This is a work of fanfiction.

* * *

"No way!" Mello squinted at the name written at the top of page for the umpteenth time; beyond all logic, it still insisted on saying "Matt Jeevas". _This can't be right, dammit—how could he ace the test he never even _studied_ for, when I studied all week and ended up right _behind_ him in the scores?!_ The only possible explanation had to be...

His eyes narrowed. Turning, he shot the redhead sitting on the floor by the bed a glare.

"Matt, if you're going to rig the damned test, you could at least have the decency to rig _my_ score, too! I worked my ass off studying for this and you know it—did you hack the listings and put yourself ahead of me _just_ to piss me off or what?!"

"I didn't cheat," Matt answered nonchalantly; the way he didn't even bother to raise his head when he was talking to Mello only served to make the blonde angrier. Not as badly as his next words, though. "You just must not have studied quite hard enough."

"....Rrrr...!" Chucking the test papers across the room in the general direction of the table, Mello crossed the small dorm in seconds, snagging the redhead by the collar of his black and white striped shirt. "How dare you say that, when _you_ played video games all week while I studied!"

Matt only stared at him flatly, no particular fear or any other reaction showing in his blue eyes. He still seemed to be neglecting putting his goggles on...just another quirk that had cropped up since they'd discovered the accident. Realizing what he was doing, Mello released Matt's shirt abruptly, turning with a "humph!" and heading for the door. This stupid conversation was going to make him late for work.

_That's all I need..._

The job wasn't one he advertised, because 'medical transcription' didn't exactly sound thrilling or cool, but it did pay well. Matt was the only one who really knew he worked. He would usually be playing some video game when Mello left for work, and would wave over his shoulder and call, "Good luck on your mission!" Like medical transcription was a video game or secret agent mission or something.

Which was why he was so surprised at the redhead's next words.

"Where are you going?"

"You know damned well where I'm going!" Mello snapped, shoving his leather ankle boots on with a scowl. _You must think it's hilarious, playing the idiot after besting me on the damned test!_

"...Can I come along?"

_What...?_ Rolling his eyes, Mello turned around to point out that Matt would get bored with watching him work in seconds flat—hell, medical transcription was boring when you were _doing_ it, never mind watching somebody else—but the redhead's uneasy expression made the words die in his throat.

_Matt..._ The blonde felt the anger drain out of him, even as he shook his head. _What's wrong with you? Do you really think this is better than the way you were before?_

"Matt, I'm going to work," he pointed out the obvious, waving a hand for emphasis. "Trust me, if I had the option I'd stay home and play video games like you do." He reached for his red leather jacket, the one with the fur-lined hood that Matt had given him a couple of years ago. He wondered what the "new Matt" would have given him instead... _Probably something...white. And cotton._

"Why can't you?" Matt persisted, twisting a piece of his hair like it was a completely ordinary thing to do and not weird as all hell. Mello gritted his teeth; this behavior was getting old fast.

"Because unlike some people who don't care whether they're broke or not, I have _goals_, and to achieve them I need money!" He snorted, shoving the jacket on and stomping out the door before the redhead could ask any more stupid questions. _He really is like a different person...one I'm not sure I would've made friends with._

If he had looked back just once, he might have caught the sudden, impish smile that had come over Matt's face.

* * *

This had to stop.

Mello was seriously beginning to wonder if a person could change their skill levels at various activities just by changing their mindset. That was the only possible explanation for how Matt could have suddenly become good at...well, everything!

In a desperate attempt to make Matt talk to him about why he was acting so strangely, the blonde had taken his friend out for a day of fun activities away from college. Or at least, they were supposed to be fun...losing repeatedly tended to dampen Mello's opinion of any activity.

_He even beat me at chess—I wasn't aware he'd ever even _played_ chess,_ the blonde thought faintly, staring into space from the zebra-striped sofa in the back corner of their dorm room. He had a chocolate bar clenched loosely in his teeth, both arms slung over the back of the sofa, and his legs sprawled widely in front of him, one foot propped onto the edge of the TV stand. He'd also been sitting in the exact same position for the past twenty minutes.

He'd tried everything—chess, math, poker, swimming, frisbee, world history trivia, even bowling! There seemed to be literally nothing that Matt could not do now. Not only could he do all of those things, he could somehow suddenly do them better than Mello could!

_How does that even happen?_ He wondered, glancing over at Matt, who sat on the floor calmly stacking ice cubes he'd retrieved from the freezer. He apparently didn't care if they melted or not...the entire tray was delicately perched one cube atop another, and stood around a foot high at this point.

Despite his best efforts to be patient, Mello was beginning to resent the "new Matt" quite a bit. Somewhere along the way the last few days, he'd stopped thinking of them as the same person; "new Matt" had become the know-it-all, can-do-it-all nuisance that had stolen away "good ol' Matt" and left him with a headache instead.

Rustling of cloth broke his reverie. Glancing over, he saw that Matt had stood and was heading for his bed on the other side of the room. Without a word of acknowledgement to Mello, the redhead crawled under the covers, curled up on his side facing the wall, and became very still. _That's kind of weird, too,_ Mello thought, frowning. _Last night he wasn't acting normal either, but he did say 'good night', at least._ Glancing back at the ice cube tower, he added with an inward grumble, _And he didn't leave a mess for me to clean up last night, either!_

He could have pestered Matt to go clean the ice cubes up so that they wouldn't melt all over the carpet (because they didn't have a plate or anything under them...), but he didn't feel like talking to the redhead at the moment. If he did, he was pretty sure he'd end up snapping—not that "the new Matt" seemed to cringe or feel bad or be capable of human emotion like "the old Matt" always did when they got into some shouting fight. He was so irked with Matt upstaging him at everything that at this point making him feel bad might have actually been satisfying...

_Stop it,_ he told himself grumpily, _You'd feel like a big jerk if you upset him, and you know it. Better to just clean up and move on... _Standing, he sighed heavily and made his way over to the mess Matt had abandoned. He was reaching for the ice cubes when he caught sight of a newspaper neatly folded on the floor beside them. _I don't remember him buying the paper on the way home..._ Frowning, Mello glanced at his roommate, noted that he hadn't moved from his curled-up position, then reached and grabbed the paper.

_British child prodigy Nate River dies in tragic accident Monday_, the largest headline read. Beneath it and beside the story was a small mug shot of a familiar white-haired boy with a calm, blank expression. The sight of his face immediately summoned forth memories of his dark eyes dulled by death, blood seeping through the curling white hair...

Mello gripped the page until the edges crumpled, trembling. _Matt,_ he thought sadly, _You're not even trying to get over this, are you? Reading about him, looking at pictures of him—how can you get over the fact that you couldn't save him if you keep making yourself think about it?_

All of the anger and frustration at his friend's actions over the past few days had been banished by the face of the white-haired boy—Nate River, as the paper called him—whose death had caused all of this trouble. Mello crumpled the paper, gritting his teeth and throwing it in the trash can. _Matt, I'm going to help you get through this. I wish you'd just talk to me instead of pulling this weird personality-switch stunt, but if that's the game you want to play, I'll find a way to win even with your rules. Watch and see—I'm going to win!_

The blonde went to bed with plans already forming in his mind, forgetting entirely about the ice cubes melting on the carpet.

--End Chapter 3

* * *

AN: After what feels like forever, here's chapter 3 of "DEFL"! I hope you enjoyed reading it. This fic is an experiment in writing a much faster-paced story than I usually do, so you might notice that the plot's moving a lot quicker than usual. It's interesting to try writing differently. :) Sorry this chapter's kind of short; this seemed like a good place to break for the next one. Okay, Akugi time!

-Threshie

* * *

_**DEFL**_ **Akugi! Volume 3**

Akugi #9

Narrator: "He would usually be playing some video game when Mello left for work, and would wave over his shoulder and call, "Good luck on your mission!" Like medical transcription was a video game or secret agent mission or something. Which was why he was so surprised at the redhead's next words."

Matt: "You forgot to put any shoes on."

Mello: (Twitches and shoves boots on) "Oh, shut up!"

Matt: (Smirk)

Akugi #10

Narrator: "He wondered what the "new Matt" would have given him instead..."

Mello: _Probably something...white. And cotton...?! _(Realizes his jacket has been replaced by a white cotton pajama shirt) "What the hell is this, Matt?!"

Matt: (Doesn't look up from stacking N64 cartridges on top of the coffee table) "I have no idea what you're talking about..."

Akugi #11

Narrator: "There seemed to be literally nothing that Matt could not do now. Not only could he do all of those things, he could somehow suddenly do them better than Mello could!"

Mello: _He even beat me at _BENG BLONDE_...a redhead beat _ME_ at being _BLONDE_. What's the world _coming _to...?_

Akugi #12

Newspaper Headline: _British child prodigy Nate River dies in tragic accident Monday_.

Mello: "Child prodigy, huh..." (Reads article about Near) "...'River was exceptionally talented at almost everything, especially chess, math, poker, swimming, frisbee, world history trivia, bowling, and demonic possession of other people's bodies.' ...." (Glances at Matt suspiciously)


End file.
